Mothers: Part 1

[Most of what I am about to say applies to fathers, too. I just don't think any fathers read this and it was mothers and Mother's Day that precipitated many of the thoughts.]

I've heard a lot about mothering from mothers lately. Between Mother's Day and the fact the majority of my peers are young mothers, I hear a lot.  Then of course there's my own mother going through mothering pains of her own.  Anyway, as I've listened and read, I've had some thoughts that I really want to shout out to mothers. I mostly refrain. Then, I said a lot of them to my mother yesterday. But they're still very dominantly bouncing around my brain and since this is my blog I'm going to say them here. I hope they might be helpful to someone; if not, maybe they'll be helpful to me some day. Before we go further, let it be noted that I am NOT a mother. So these thoughts come from the perspective of a daughter and a student of Jesus Christ's gospel.

First of all, if God wanted perfect parents (in this life) He would have designed a different plan.
Really, it's that simple. Of course you aren't perfect. Really? No one is, especially at parenting.  And yet God keeps sending millions of his children down into these homes with imperfect parents. Don't you think he knows what he's doing? I do. So why are you apologetic and guilt ridden and all that for not being perfect? Stop it! (and see next paragraph) God doesn't need or want perfect parents. He wants the plan he has set up, which includes a whole lot of imperfect parents doing a great job of teaching their children and helping them come unto Christ. So, Trust God. Trust His plan. Don't try to out think him. Okay? Okay.

So why do parents have these feelings? Well, here's where we really go into Ruth's opinion. An opinion based on studying the gospel, as well as my own feelings from when I make mistakes at being a daughter, a sister, a roommate, a friend, a teacher, etc. I can only imagine that in parenting--a relationship of such greater significance than any of those--those feelings are magnified. And I cry quite a lot about my imperfections in those other relationships, so I can extrapolate and imagine that sometimes you feel pretty bad.
And that really makes me wonder why? Why, do we feel so bad sometimes? And finally I think, you should feel bad when you're impatient or yell at your children or don't want to ever see them again or whatever it is. Just like you should feel pain for all the things you do wrong. And then you should humble yourself, cry to Heavenly Father, do whatever else you need to to repent (including getting up and doing better--repeat, repeat, repeat), and then GO to church on Sunday, take the Sacrament and BELIEVE that Christ has cleansed you of your sins from this past week and start over. New. Fresh. And then you'll mess up again and then repeat. And repeat. And recognize that with Christ's infinite Atonement you can repeat an infinite amount of weeks. And be thankful that you get to go take the sacrament every week. [And hopefully, you have some quiet moment at some time to think about what you've actually done--I know with small children it might not be actually during the sacrament.] Oh, and forgive yourself.
I'm not a parent, but the same principles apply and I too am learning this. 

A few weeks ago I was talking to Rachel and she said something that seared into my heart and has really helped me turn around my life right now. I wish I could get it down perfectly, but here's the gist:  "That really is the greatest faith that I know of. The faith that Jesus Christ really does cleanse you of your sins and you get to start anew."  Wow. I've pondered on that for weeks now (including the week where I spent the entire time in bed--lots of time to ponder). I've thought of the other things I have faith in and I believe she's right. There are some pretty humongous things to have faith in: Faith that God will keep his promises, that I'll get married and have children, that the world will be at peace some day, that people will live again after they die, that God will take care of me when I have no money to take care of myself, that someone will heal from something, that a child will make a good choice, etc.  But (I'm really trying here to explain something that I can't exactly put into words, so bear with me) most of those things include help from outside sources and therefore you can kind of, sort of hope they'll happen. Or they include more tangible things so you can see when they do. But to believe--and live--that Christ has cleansed me from sin. That only comes from him and it is the greatest faith. Thinking of that as I took of the sacrament the next Sunday was liberating and powerful and good.

And then when I started thinking about these sad mothers on Mother's Day, I could see somehow how it fit. (Even if you can't understand my rambling.)  And I could see a little bit of why God is just fine with imperfect parents. Because in the process of wanting to be a good parent, you slowly but surely turn to Christ and work on the perfecting process.

So, of part 1 (because I now realize it's not all going to fit into one post), here's what I conclude. God designed a plan with imperfect parents, so stop apologizing for being part of that plan. And let your imperfections (at parenting and all the other things we do in life) bring you to Christ. Let the weekly sacrament cleanse you and heal you and allow you to start clean again (even if it last just a little while). Obviously, this isn't just for mother's, that's just where I've seen its need a lot lately. If I love you and appreciate what you do as a parent (and I do), I can't really even imagine what Heavenly Father feels.