This week I got a passport picture so I can renew my passport.* My old passport expired 2.5 years ago, so it's 12.5 years old. I took that picture in February or March 2000, toward the end of freshman year of BYU. As I looked at the two pictures, here are some random thoughts I had. Of no real importance, but I just wanted to say them to someone:
- Some day I need to take a passport picture when I have not just walked a mile+ in the heat (I actually remember being hot and sweaty on the day I took it in 2000 and I was yesterday too--it does make my cheeks pink!)
- I kind-of look like a boy now. I mean, I already knew that, but in a passport picture it's even more pronounced.
- My face is a lot thinner now than it was 12.5 years ago.
- There actually was a time in my life when I did not have super dark circles under my eyes. It's certainly not now (they're kind-of scary in the foto). I don't think it was in high school. I also don't think it was any time during or post-mission. But there was a time. And I used to have proof--before they made me return my 2000 passport.
- I remember that there was a time... well, make that, there were times. Or there was a long period of time. ...in my life when I cared a lot more about my physical appearance. I don't care now the way I did then. Some of it might have to do with just getting older, but I think more of it has to do with the difficulty of the past few years. I am forever changed. So even when I see myself that looks kind of like a boy and has really dark circles (these things I really only noticed when I held the pictures beside each other and tried to find specific things that made me look older), what I see is something I just didn't have eyes to see a decade ago. I see my smile that's real and shines through even in my "neutral" pose. I see patience and love. I see the face of a woman who cries very often (fortunately not that day!). I see a daughter of God who has a heart softer than I think it's ever been. And I'm grateful for the reflection.
* This is long over-due, but seemed unnecessary in an era when I couldn't afford to travel to the next state over (even in New England!), much less to another country. However, with my parents in another country for 2 years and the Egypt "crisis" (personal crisis--but I never did write about that, did I? One day.), it is past time. And my sister says so too, so she's getting me a new one.
p.s. 100% unrelated, but on my mind this instant and I don't know if I'll ever blog about it again. My office (where I am now, having a lunch break) is in the same building as an American Muslim Center. They have prayers every day, but Friday is their holy day and it becomes a bit of a mad house. But also, because so many people are coming, their door is open a lot more often. I LOVE hearing the call to prayer. LOVE it. I also enjoy the prayers themselves. And I even enjoy hearing the preaching (what is currently spilling out). But any time, and especially late at night, I love hearing the call the prayer. happy.
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