Assertive

(The "schedule" function does not work for me apparently--or I can't work it, perhaps. Anyway, these last couple were supposed to be automatic but I've had to come back and  publish them. So hard. Well, at least they're written already.)

I'm writing all these at the same time, even though I'll publish them a little spread out.
I don't know how much I'll go into this, but I do want to make note. I believe recording is a key, key way to learn the lessons the Lord is trying to teach me through different experiences.

One of the main things that I learned from Checketts Law is that I need to do a better job at standing up for myself. I'll stand up for others, but I have a hard time doing it for myself. Ironically, it makes me angry when others don't stand up for themselves. But anyway.

When I was talking to my dear friend Dorothee about this, she could relate--on all levels. Standing up for others, not for self, feeling bad about even sort-of doing it, etc. She'd talked to a counselor about it once who identified the problem as being a woman and Southern. Interesting thought. Though, I was talking to Roland about it and he has the same problem (I know this is true because I used it to my advantage throughout my life--and sometimes get mad when he wouldn't stand up to others, still).

For myself personally I also think a huge part of it is the desire to be Christlike. I want to be kind to others and I worry about hurting others. But I've come to understand more and more that in this, like in many things, I have to move forward with faith in Jesus Christ. He atoned for all sin, all sorrow and hurt. So maybe I will hurt others (though probably a lot less than I think), but I must allow the Atonement to work if I hurt others or myself. But I cannot stand still and do nothing out of fear of hurting others.

Dorothee's counselor tried to help her understand the difference between "assertive" and "aggressive" and those labels have helped me.

So, I'm trying. I'm telling my client (former) to quit telling me what to do and if he doesn't trust me to do my job to go find someone else (he did, thankfully). I've asked my roommate to get her stuff out of our living room (6 weeks after she'd moved in, it was time to move the moving boxes to her own room). I'm fighting with Comcast, instead of just acquiescing to their rottenness. And other things big and small. Most of them probably wouldn't seem like a big deal, but they require me to gird up my loins, consciously make and effort and STAND UP FOR MYSELF!

I think this one of the most important things I learned from Checketts Law and it was worth it for that. It's going to make me a better wife, a better mother, a better teacher, ward member, missionary, citizen, etc., etc.


Come back soon because I'll have another post that you need to see the next week or so.