Had to change the roses. The hot house roses just weren't me (and it wasn't meant to be permanent anyway). Picture this background: a simple, wild spray rose. Dark pink. One, maybe two against the green tangle of nature. Yep, that's what I'd love. But since it's not in the easy-to-apply templates, I'm not getting it. Still, I'm happy to make the words wider and otherwise change a few things I wanted to.
Other follow-ups. To do before I'm 30. I'm letting Laurel down by not reporting on this. I just haven't figured out anything. I asked at dinner on Sunday and got a slew of suggestions. The main theme seemed to be: Do something out of your comfort zone. Which theoretically sounds good. For a lot of people about to turn 30, it's probably a great idea. But. The conversation at dinner bothered me enough that I kept thinking about it for the next 24+ hours. And this is what I finally realized.
How's this sound for out of your comfort zone?: Pack two suitcases, get on a plane, fly to a city where you've never lived before (make sure it's a city, not any type of demographic area where you might feel comfortable), where you know a total of 1.5 people, where you have no job, no anything else lined up, and have absolutely zero connections for finding a job, where you haven't arranged long-term housing and try to make a go of it. If you need more excitement, do it in an economy where it's practically impossible to find legal jobs--especially when you know nobody and have basically no experience. In case that's not enough add things like taking a bar exam, teach a course that you don't really comprehend--make sure and get hired 2 days before the first day of class so you won't have time to figure it out (until it's about over). Etc. Etc. You get the point. [Do you remember in health classes seeing the stress charts--what events cause the greatest amounts of stress in life? Well, I'm pretty sure I've packed in quite a few listed and non-listed events. I just need to add death, marriage and divorce to finish it up.]
Goal before I turn 30: Survive. Keep breathing. Do not have a break-down.
Really, I still do want to do something fun. I've liked some of the suggestions (Deanna's, some from dinner), but I've just accepted that they cannot be things that cause any degree of stress. And they shouldn't detract too much from finding a job, house, etc.
Oh, one last thought, perhaps my favorite suggestion from dinner was to go on 30 dates before I'm 30. Sarah H's friend did this (and did indeed find a husband) and had lots of fun criteria to go with it. Everyone at dinner seemed pretty enthusiastic about it, and I actually considered it (that's some indication that life has changed for me) but in the end it just sounds like more work than I can muster right now. And, whatever I do has to be free. Some dates can be free, but 30? If I had mental energy maybe. So, might have to save that one for next year.
So, it's been 2 weeks and 1 day since I finished the bar exam. I thought there might be some relaxation after the bar exam. But not so. Nothing slowed down.
* Lesli came and we played. And bless her, bless her, she kept me from completely losing it; I'm not sure I would have survived that week without someone there. Even better that it was someone who has known me for a long time and really cares about me. And was patient and understanding. But don't worry, we also did a lot of fun things. If you haven't checked lately, check her blog to see more adventures in Boston. (Some: Concord for historical houses/sites, swimming in Walden pond, eating a lot, Red Sox game, North End (Italian district), and more.)
* I packed up everything I have here in Boston (more than 2 suitcases now). Tried to move it to my new place; only I changed my mind mid-trip there and it ended up in a friend's basement (not even attempting to tell that story now). Also moved a new bed and other furniture to the new house (bless the girl in my ward who thought of me to give it to!). Later packed up food and other odds and ends and have been taking care of them.
* Moved out of my home of the past 5 months. Began house-hopping. (Can't move into new house until Sept. 1.) My first stop is Jamaica Plain--a part of Boston that I LOVE! I'm so excited I get to be here, if only for a week. Staying with an amazing friend, Dorothee. It's wonderfully close to the university-hooray! I'll be here a week. And then going to Lynn, MA (a further suburb of Boston), New Hampshire and Connecticut. The juggling and arranging are a little crazy, but once it gets settled I think it's going to be wonderful to get out of town, have a vacation of sorts, and spend time with dear friends (new and old).
* Finished classes. This semester has been a roller-coaster of teaching. Probably more about that later.
* Finished (just a short time ago) grading capstone projects and finalizing grades for one (graduating) class. Other class will turn in final papers next week. So, a short reprieve here.
* Had Sunday dinner for a dinner group, going away party for a friend (who was here for an internship; I'm so sad it's over), overnight guest, etc. while I still had a house.
* Got a Request for Evidence sent to immigration before the deadline. (hopefully; please USPS.)
* Dealt with stress from some relationships.
* Slept at least a few hours each night. Ate healthy a few times. Ate randomness other days (using up food as I moved). Generally reminded myself that bad physical and spiritual habits won't kill me in the short term. But oh, how I long for adequate rest, adequate scripture study, good nutrition, etc. (It's coming, already better.)
I don't know what else. As it starts to ebb away I wonder why it's been so crazy. ??
Lest you get the wrong impression from this post--I've had a fabulous couple of weeks. Many hours of socializing/playing with great friends, a lot of growing, a lot of loving Boston. I'm really happy. And as I passed the 4 month in Boston mark I'm amazed at how very, very far life has come. It's so good here. So very, very good.
Few more good things, besides all the time with Lesli:
* Belmont posse outings
* having a car--at the Pritchett's and now again while a friend is out of town (a "friend"--who I just met on Sunday and inherited a car on Monday!)
* No more walking the dog (there were a lot of good things about that, but it is such a relief to go to bed and wake up in the morning without worrying about it)
* Classes being done
* Amazing, lovely weather
* Getting to know all kinds of new parts of Boston
* So many new/developing friendships--I can never adequately explain how incredible the arms of love have circled me, taken care of me
* Lots of emotional growth that I won't put into words here
I know this is kind of scattered. It's as much for me as anything. I'm going to try to have more coherent posts soon. With pictures.
Life is SO good for me.
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