"If you're going to make a mistake, make a big one"

Since I already mentioned this, let me go ahead and tell you a little more. Since my time is extremely tight right now (even at this moment I should be working on lesson plans), I'm just going to copy and paste an email I sent to my family a couple of weeks ago--with a few edits to update the story.

Once upon a time, when I was in high school, my choir teacher's name was Mr. Pollard (some of you know this part, but a lot of you were not in the loop back in those days, so I want to make sure you understand). Mr. Pollard was a truly wonderful teacher, one of the most influential in my life. He was a good choir teacher (really very good), but equally important, he believed in me. More, much more, than I believed in myself. Because of him--his confidence and his training, I gained tons of confidence and lots of skills. It is because of him that I sang my famous solo at baccalaureate and then encore at graduation. I really love him a lot.   So, anyway, one of the things that Mr. Pollard used to tell me and my classmates was this--"If you're going to make a mistake, make a big one!"  Whether you sing, play sports or do a lot of other things, I think you can appreciate the idea. Holding back, being scared of making a mistake, means that you don't learn and grow the way you could. It means you won't hit a great note anymore than you'll hit a bad one. So, belt it out! Chances are good, you'll actually do better than you think. And if not, at least you'll know what you're working with and be able to fix it.  I think of this principle a lot, in a lot of different applications. Missionary work, relationships, hobbies, classes, etc. etc.  I think it's pretty good advice in a lot of situations. And I should have thought about it a whole lot more than I have. As you all probably know, I'm a worrier and I want to figure things out so I don't make mistakes; too often it keeps me (and others) from progressing as much as I could. I need to remember it more. If you're going to make a mistake, make a big one.

So, this advice, this directive from Mr. Pollard has been playing in my mind quite a bit, as I've been biking around the Greater Boston area. Because I'm on my way to making a big effort. And if it's a mistake, it will be a big one. But, chances are decent (I like to think) that actually it will end up coming out better than I think it will. Certainly better than it's ever going to come out while I sit here and "listen", hoping that something will just magically happen by my thinking about it.  So, here goes nothing. With support from important people, lots of happy thoughts and feelings from the Spirit (no strong direction, just happy thoughts and feelings), I am taking steps to start my own full-time law practice. With an office and everything. Let me tell you, it scares me a very lot.  But it also makes me really excited. There is a whole, whole, whole lot to learn; a lot to do. Because I can't comprehend it all, I'm trying to take things one step at a time. I'd outline some of that now, but it will have changed by tomorrow. I could also try to tell you how I got here, but I've tried a couple of times and don't want to in an email; besides I'm not completely sure how it all happened.  Anyway, the end result is that I'm here now.

So, stay tuned. I'm sure you'll hear more in the X (time periods undetermined--weeks? months? years?) to come.

And now, for your invitation. At a time (a week ago) when I was knowing that the Lord wanted to communicate something to me (but unknown what), one of the first concrete thoughts that started to ease the tension was considering this invitation. So, I invite you to join me this coming fast Sunday (July 1; or whenever you want to fast) in a combined fast. You can ask for whatever specific thing you'd like; something along the lines of-- that I will somehow be able to become economically self-reliant (I know the Lord wants this), or that I will be able to have a successful law practice (I think this might be the means of the other), or that lots of people will come and want me to help them with their legal problems (my first matter of business that I can't control very much), or whatever you'd like.  If you feel so inclined, I would really appreciate if you'll join your faith with mine and fast with me.   Thank you!


So additions:
First, any of you are also invited to fast with me this weekend. (I could write another post on that, but suffice it to say that deciding to include others in this endeavor was really the decision that created a breaking point in receiving revelation.)  [If you don't know what fasting is, read this. And join me. :)]

After this email, I just kept full speed ahead. I've been learning what I need to do to be official. I looked for an office. On Saturday I went to NYC for a self-employment workshop, which was very helpful (I also squeezed in a session in the Manhattan temple (beautiful) and enjoyed walking the streets on my way to and from places and thinking how I'll have to come back to play sometime).

Yesterday I signed the lease for an office. Sceery, but good.

And now I'm about to head out of town and enjoy time with my family, but when I get back I'll be hitting the ground running.  My planned "launch" date is July 19 (I like the 19, of every month, so in the need to just pick a date, I picked that. Arbitrary.)

Feel free to ask more and I might blog about it again.