The Problem

The problem with applying for something (applying for immigration benefits, jobs, housing, even things like dating) is that it gets your hopes up even when they weren't up before! That italicized part is the kicker.

On the face of the case or the job description, I think "there's no way he/she/I could get that; his/her case/my experience just isn't up to par." Or even, "it's possible, but probably not." (or, dating: this person would probably never be interested)
But then I try. I look at it from every angle. And I make my very bestest case. And in the process I learn to believe. I really believe. I see how he/she/I do meet the requirements and do my best to advocate.

And I get my stinkin' hopes up!!  

(I can't seem to help it, even when I try so hard not to.)

Alas, in the end, other people see it the way I did at first [am I really a terrible advocate or is it just that the situation was actually hopeless?].  And my hopes are crushed. Unfortunately, in the case of a case, other people's hopes get crushed too.

Sometimes it seems like it would be better to just never try. Sure, I never succeed that way, but I also don't get my hopes up. Bleh. *


On a completely different note: my bishop's wife invited me to come finish picking the apple trees in their backyard and I came home with lots of buckets of apples. Including some mighty fine, home-grown, Golden Delicious apples. I'm eating one right now. And it is SOOOO good. Mmmmm. (If you come over I'll share.)



* If you think this is a downer post, be grateful I didn't post yesterday when I spent the day angry, bitter, and sobbing my heart out. The truth is, today is a building hopes day. I'm just trying (unsuccessfully) to remind myself how it will really turn out. :)