A few weeks ago, within a 72 hour period my life changed pretty significantly. With all the same pieces, just rearranged. I kept trying to explain this to other people, but it took some thinking to get it figured out. I think a couple of factors to explain it are these: In my life significant changes involving moving. Period. They just do. Other people's do some (graduations, new jobs (sometimes), etc), but not quite like mine. So I know when there will be major changes. Also, other people are aware when there's a big change because there're lots of changes happening. So most big changes in my life are well-publicized. Example, when I get new callings--I know it's going to happen (the releases and the calls) because I'm changing wards. In all my 15ish years of being an adult, and the dozens of callings I've had, I can think of one (yes, one, 1) where I was in the same ward, was unexpectedly called to a new calling, was released and sustained in a new calling. (Incidentally, that one was quite a shock since it came just weeks before graduation and another move.) Same with other areas of my life.
But this time around the changes came so differently. If I didn't explicitly go out of my way to announce it (like this blog post) people wouldn't know about the changes. Even the people right around me--even though my life shifts dramatically in my mind, people don't even know how much it's changing. Yes, thank you for letting me process that a little more. After all, that's why I have my blog. Now on to telling what happened.
Change 1
Mid morning of October 19 (while trying to start a birthday), I got a call from the stake executive secretary asking me to come in before church tomorrow. I got off the phone and cried. As I said to my parents in an email: " I don't even know why I'm crying yet. But I can think of two good reasons to talk to a member of the stake presidency, and I just renewed my temple recommend last month and I'm not going on a mission." I had also just spoken in stake conference the Sunday before, so it couldn't be that. After thinking all the worst case scenarios, I decided to quit crying about what I didn't know yet (even though that made it scarier) and go on and enjoy my birthday. So I did. A lovely day.
The next morning I was called to be the 2nd counselor in the stake Y.W. presidency (when I heard 2nd come out of his month a huge wave of relief swept over me--before he could even finish the full title). I was sustained half an hour later and set apart a couple hours after that.
Couple of random things from that morning: I'd known for a month that Oct. 20 (after lots of conferencing) I was going to be released from one of my 3 callings and was pretty excited--little did the bishop and I know that it wouldn't create quite the relief we'd anticipated. :)
Also, remember how it was my birthday weekend? Well, I'd told my coworkers that I wanted them to come to church with me on Sunday as my birthday activity. A couple of them did--so they were there for this and probably more confused than would have been otherwise about what was happening. Also my dear friend from Boston was here. It was a chaotic day, to say the least.
At the time of the calling I didn't know the president or much of anything else about the Y.W. in the Montpelier stake (though I had memorized the 10 units of the stake at stake conference the week before--one thing down, 500k to go).
And, to say the least, my life has changed a lot because of this. I could go into a myriad of details, but I won't right now. I'm supposed to be in bed in 5 minutes, so I'll just let you use your imagination.
Change 2
On Tuesday, two days later, when I went to work there was an email saying to that there were openings on day shift and to let them know if we wanted to switch. Since I am in the group that's been on nights the longest (only 6 of us left, since others had jumped ship in earlier opportunities to go), I knew if I wanted it, I'd get it. But I was all prepared to enjoy daylight hours through the winter, etc. etc. I read it and thought, that's interesting but I'm okay. Then, within 2 or 3 minutes, I knew. I knew it was time to change. It was kind of surreal how definite, yet calm, that knowing was. So then I started a campaign to get the others from my little "family" to move. (In the end, they did. The four I like. so we're still together.) It was a few more hours before it finally dawned on me--I can go to the presidency and APYW meetings now. I can not be a zombie at Saturday morning activities now. I can fulfill my new, non-Sunday calling now. I told my co-workers that too--the Center might think this is about space and supervisors and yawdy, yawdy, but really it's for my new responsibility at church. They just smiled. But I'm quite convinced.
Anyway, it's impossible to explain how this changes my life. Eating, sleeping, clothes, exercise, activities, and on and on are changed by this change in schedule. Unless you have done or lived with someone doing a 2nd or 3rd shift rotation, I think it's impossible to describe how different life is.
So just like that my life kind of turned upside and backward. Without really changing at all, it changed completely. So weird.
One last note and then I have to finish:
I didn't see it until that Tuesday night, but the Lord was definitely preparing me for the schedule change. Once I felt to change, I suddenly "saw" all the things leading up to it. Thoughts and ideas that had been growing for a few weeks.
And the calling. I would be lying to say it was a shock. A surprise, yes. But a shock, no. The Lord was definitely preparing with that too. Deep, deep down I already knew. I just didn't know what it was I knew.
Both of those things are very reassuring. Reassuring to know that the Lord is aware of me and guiding my life, guiding the parts that matter to him. I try to trust in him with all my heart and he is directing my paths. It's so good to know that, while I counsel with him, then make lots and lots of decisions myself, he's taking care of the things he wants to happen.
p.s. If you have any questions, ask and I'll tell.
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